When I’m next to my inner self

There are songs that bring me so close to my inner self that I feel overwhelmed by my own emotions and I can’t help but to cry, but not out of sadness but out of the pleasure that I feel when I am so close to myself me.

When I’m next to my inner self, along with all my qualities and flaws, all my desires and all my accomplishments, displayed in order, as in an exhibition, I wonder, I admire and I weigh them and I love them while I let my feelings fly free, to ravish me in every way they can. I like to feel their intensity and purity so I let them do what they want of me. Pull my nose, pour through my eyes, ring inside my ears, run across my cheeks!

Regardless of where they come from or where they head to, they slowly drip through me and I love the feeling of insane clarity they give, since I allowed myself to exist as myself, day after day and night night after night.

1 Comment

  1. While I don”t have much time right now, I do want to make my readers happy (short of killing them), so let me give my thoughts. I think you have a point about happiness coming from experiences that push aside the self, but I would challenge the idea that the loss of self is the same as death. It sounds like you”re describing the difference between presence and absence, not the difference between life and death. Buddhism talks about this in their discussions of consciousness, saying that in some sense pure consciousness (and absence of self) is one of the greatest experiences of life you can have. I would also argue that some of the pleasure we get from the sensations you mention comes from the reflections we have upon the return of the self. Finally, happiness is, in my opinion, not just the product of sensations and experiences. It results from many things, including the use of reason and intellect (Aristotle mentions this in the Nicomachean Ethics). So in short, I would add your definition of happiness to the pantheon of ideas about happiness humans have developed, but would not privilege it over others. If you have further thoughts, I”d love to hear them.

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